How to handle your ex dating someone else

A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else. Under that logic, I've never gotten dreams about your partner dating someone else anyone in my life. It was like we were still together and he cheated. I wasn't entitled to feel this way — I broke up with him! But that didn't stop his new profile picture, with an unknown woman next to him. Sure, she could be a friend, but seeing two people in the same profile picture is basically a giveaway. Again, I didn't feel I had the right to be upset. We were never exclusive and hadn't spoken in six months!

What was going on? After doing some soul searching, I realized my reasons were different for each person. With the first ex, I still relied on him for emotional support the way I did when we were dating, and seeing him with someone else made me wonder if we could still have as close a relationship. Plus, when I broke up with him, he said he refused to move on and planned to marry me — a promise he obviously couldn't keep, but it planted in the back of my mind the assumption that if I ever had a change of heart, he would be there. With the second non ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it. I know I'm not alone in feeling devastated over an ex moving on. A lot of my friends have confessed they've felt the same way, especially when they're forced to find out through social media.

Your ex did not get an upgrade. The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you. The fact that you broke up wasn't a failure on your part; things just didn't work out, and they might not work out with this new person either. Your ex moving on is not a testament to your inadequacy. It's the worst when your ex's new significant other is someone you don't even like. It can make you start to question yourself: "If that's what he's into, am I like that? One person can date two very different people. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning. People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason.

Whatever Beyonce may say, nobody's replaceable. Your ex's new significant other is not your replacement. Your ex will never experience with this new person exactly what they did with you. You get to be the one who made rainbow cake with them or first showed them Arrested Development or whatever made your relationship special. Even if they do some of these same things with their current partner, they will never recreate your entire relationship. The memories you two have together are yours and yours alone. If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else first. However, how quickly you get into a relationship isn't a measure of how desirable you are. Look around at the people you know. It's not necessarily the most attractive or likable people who get into relationships the most easily. Your ex just happened to stumble upon someone else before you did. That doesn't reflect poorly on you.

When my ex first got a new girlfriend, I feared that it endangered the friendship we formed post-breakup. But even if it changed the dynamics of our relationship a bit, it didn't change how he felt. Getting into relationships in the past at least hasn't changed the way I cared about my exes. If anything, it has helped me know that my friendships with exes were genuine and not ploys to get back together. If you can confide in your ex about your current relationship, perhaps that's the ultimate sign you've moved on — to a friendship that's just as special. By Suzannah Weiss.

When You See Your Ex With Someone Else For The First Time, Remember These 4 Things When You See Your Ex With Someone Else For The First Time, Remember These 4 Things
How To Deal When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New How To Deal When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New

Picture this: You're a few months post breakup, and you're feeling good. You're not constantly crying anymore, you don't think about your ex every second of every day, and you might even be feeling ready to move on and redownload Bumble. But then, you see your ex with someone else for the first time, and it feels like all the healing you did just went down the drain. You may have felt ready to move onbut you probably weren't ready to see that your ex was already one step ahead of you. Chances are, you're going to feel a wide range of emotions, but according to experts, how you feel when you see them is a direct reflection of how your relationship ended. However, "over time, both individuals begin to establish their new paths. When we see our ex for the first time it is almost uniformly awkward. Old feelings arise: feelings of defensiveness, comparison, a desire to look and present 'well' all are common.

And this is baby daddy dating someone else simply by seeing our ex. When our ex is with someone elseit throws an entirely new variable into the emotional equation, and it can cause a host of new and different emotions. Seeing your ex with someone else may very well cause you to start thinking about the relationship you shared. You may get flashbacks of the good times and wonder why it didn't work out. Awkwardness is likely among the wide range of emotions you'll probably feel when you see your ex with someone new.

Sure, you may be over them, but it's still not the most wonderful feeling to see them with someone else. It's awkward and uncomfortable and weird, and that's OK! Klapow states. All of these thoughts can come rushing forward simply by seeing your ex with someone. You may see them at the local movie theater or the lone bar in town with someone and assume they're already dating again, when they may not be at all. Klapow says. Tell it to stop. Ritter says. Klapow explains. If things were relatively neutral or time has passed, and you are fairly confident that emotions have settled a bit then you do have the option to approach. If you choose to approach your ex when you see them with someone else, keep it short and sweet, and don't push for an introduction to the new person, Dr. Klapow advises. Running into an ex with someone new can be awkward AF, but try not to worry about it too much. And while you can't control where, when, or how you run into them, you can control how you react and the vibe you put out.

Make sure it's one you'll be proud of!

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